All the Feels: Christmas Triggers and How to Manage Them

At Gotcha4Life talking about feelings is one of the keys to mental fitness which got us thinking about the festive season.  This time of year can be a mixed bag when it comes to emotion, even in a normal year. Add a two-year global pandemic into the mix, you can be sure it’s going to trigger some feelings. 

Some of those feelings are going to be positive - for example, reuniting with loved ones and enjoying time off from work - but for some people, those same scenarios provoke anxiety and despondency. After all, not all families are happy and some people feel lost without the structure that work provides. 

Gotcha4Life Advisory Board member and founder of The Anxiety Clinic, Dr Jodie Lowinger, says that a lot of people are struggling at the moment.

“This year has been overwhelming for many and with the festive season around the corner you might be sitting with a level of stress, unease, low mood or even burnout.”

So what are some triggers to look out for over the coming month? And what can you do to offset that stress in a proactive way?

Dr Lowinger, creator of The Mind Strength Method, says that there are some easy ways to minimise worry and boost enjoyment at this time of year.

1) Become aware of your Stressors

Financial stress, perfectionism and issues around self-worth and being judged negatively can all come to the fore at this time. 

A great deal of angst can be experienced when a person feels as though they are not meeting their families’ baseline ‘conditions of worth’ when it comes to things like marriage, children, financial and professional success, home ownership and even things like weight and fitness levels. 

Some of us slip back into stressful birth order stereotypes, while others go into perfectionism overdrive, worrying that if they don’t buy the perfect gift or cook the perfect meal, Christmas will be ruined.

Grief and loneliness are also highlighted over the festive period, with many people feeling lost without their loved ones or left out of the festivities altogether.

Dr Lowinger says that step one of The Mind Strength Method is about focusing on building self-awareness. Give yourself the space to reflect on your thoughts, feelings and actions.

What triggers you? How is stress showing up in your body? What feels good? What doesn’t?

Figuring out what your key worries are about Christmas is the first step towards coming up with a plan to alleviate that stress. 

2) Become Aware of your Values

What does Christmas actually mean to you? What do you love about it? What brings you joy?

It’s easy to get swept up by traditions and dates on the calendar but tuning in and aligning your behaviour with your values can help bring a sense of ease to the season.

Dr Lowinger says, “By focusing on value-driven actions you can take ownership of this busy time of the year and enjoy it more.”

If buying presents is what makes you happy, do it. If cooking a huge Christmas lunch brings you joy, do it. If attending every party and watching every Christmas movie is your thing, do it. 

If not, it’s OK to delegate and say no. Focus on what is meaningful to you and you will have a much better time.

3) Create a Well-Being Plan

Overindulgence is practically mandatory at this time of year and many of us obediently stuff our faces and drink too much. After all, it’s Christmas!

The downside of this is that we start feeling sick, grumpy and exhausted. Not exactly the best mindset for a good time. 

Dr Lowinger says, “Sometimes we overindulge in response to social stress, peer pressure, or just the easy availability of food and alcohol with all the lunches and dinners we go to at this time of year but what you eat and drink around these events doesn’t have to be so indulgent. Make healthy food choices and see if you can reduce alcohol consumption through planning your meals at home to get the nutrition and balance you need. Remember that by keeping the amount of alcohol to a reasonable level you can dodge the hangover that might make you feel out of sorts the next day and contribute to low mood and anxiety.”

In the midst of all the activity, it can also be easy to abandon exercise, meditation and sleep routines. This is a recipe for disaster. Our bodies crave homeostasis - a state of regularity and balance - so finding ways to fit in our usual self-care practices around Christmas is like making deposits in the calm bank that you can draw upon later.

4) Practice Gratitude

Sometimes in the midst of all the chaos, it can be hard to see the forest for the Christmas trees. 

Dr Lowinger says, “Be thankful for the positive things about this holiday season. Focus on the positive things that have happened throughout the year, as well as the things you are grateful for right now.”

After enduring a pandemic, it might be enough to simply be alive and healthy. Give thanks for all the little things that add up to a lot - the roof over your head, the food in your fridge and the safety and wellbeing of your loved ones. 

“What we focus on grows and while circumstances are not always in your control, you have the power to choose how you respond. By aligning to your values, you can create a values-driven plan to enjoy the holiday season - all while minimising stress and anxiety,” says Dr Lowinger. 

5) Know it’s OK to Struggle

A key stressor for some people is simply that they are not ‘feeling it’. When everything around you is merry and bright, some people beat themselves up about not being able to rise to the occasion. 

It’s important to remember that it’s been a really tough couple of years and we’ve all been under a lot of stress. If you’re not feeling festive this year, that is completely OK. 

Understand that Christmas can be a hard time, become aware of your stressors and your values around Christmas, practice gratitude for what you can authentically appreciate and, if you’re finding it hard to cope, reach out for support here. 

Read more on Dr Lowinger’s Christmas wellbeing tips here.